Sunday Stealing: The 65 Questions Meme

You can play here.

1. Tell us who the last person that you took a shower with.

Unless you're counting showers of rain, my showering is dreadfully dull and solitary.

2. Tell us about your favorite tee-shirt. Extra points if you show a pic. (We know. What can you do with freakin' extra points?)

I've got several I like, but I don't know which is my favourite. I really need to get round to ranking them.

3. Has anyone ever hit on you even though they knew you were taken?

No, or if they did I was too unobservant to notice.

4. Do you plan what to wear the next day?

No, I don't even plan what I wear today.

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? Why?

Incredibly excited because I'm getting to answer this super-neat question.

6. What's the closest thing to you that's black?

My keyboard, though fortunately the lettering on the keys is white.

7. Tell me about an interesting dream you remember having.

I can never remember my dreams that well, so I guess they can't be that interesting.

8. Did you or might you meet anybody new today?

I met someone from the bank who regaled me with information about ISAs.

9. If you could be doing anything right now (or perhaps after you finish this ridiculous meme) what would it be?

Sleeping (just thinking about ISAs again is sending me lapsing towards unconsciousness). Either that or ranking my tee-shirts.

10. Can you think of a meme question that's never been asked?

No, but I also can't think of a meme question that's only been asked once.

11. What comes to mind when I say China?

It's a Tori Amos song off her Little Earthquakes album.

12. Are you overly emotional?

No, I'm mostly pretty unemotional.

13. If you could listen to just one rock album (CD, vinyl or mp3) which one would you pick?

Meat Loaf's Bat Out Of Hell.

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?

I bite and lick it.

15. Do you like your car?

Yes, it's non-existent, so really cheap to run.

16. Do you like yourself?

Yes, we agree on all sorts of things.

17. Would you go out to eat with Charlie Sheen?

Depends if he's paying.

18. What was the last song that you listened to?



19. Are (or were) your parents strict?

No and no.

20. Have you ever wondered what attending a wild orgy (if only to watch or...) would be like?

No.

21. I say cottage cheese. You say:

Potato. Let's call the whole thing off.

22. Have you ever met a celebrity?

Yes, years ago I met a soap opera star, though he's no long a soap opera star or much of a celebrity these days, such is the fickle finger of fate.

23. What was the last movie that you watched at home?

Probably Wanted which was on TV here a week or so ago.

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?

Just my wit and conversation.

25. What countries have you visited?

Scotland, Ireland, Wales, France, Holland, Spain, Norway and America.

26. Have you ever made a phone call while you were drunk that you've regretted? If yes, do tell.

No, but I've woken up after being drunk, my memory a tad hazy, afraid that I might have made such a phone call.

27. Where were you going the last time that you were on a train?

To visit my mum.

28. Bacon or sausage?

Bacon. Back in my university days, I once undercooked sausages and got told by a friend about scary worms that may end up inside me as a result, so I've never liked sausages since (with the exception of sausage rolls which are yummy).

29. How long have you had a cell-phone?

About ten years, though it's mostly been a work one. I've only had one of my very own for two years.

30. What other memes do you do regularly?

I do other memes but to say I do them regularly would be highly misleading.

31. Who is the craziest meme host?

Crazy Sam. Otherwise they wouldn't call her Crazy Sam.

32. Who invented chop sticks?

Once upon a time, back in the old days of China, there was a great Emperor. One day some cutlery merchants, too lazy to fashion a proper knife and fork, instead sold the Emperor a pair of sticks, telling him only the wisest of people could use them to eat. Soon, everyone in the Empire saw the Emperor slowly managing to eat food with just a pair of sticks, and so they joined in on the craze. All except one little boy, who saw through the ruse, and would have said something, but by the time he got up the nerve to speak, he felt that he'd be better mentioning the Emperor's new lack of clothing.

33. Who are you going to be with tonight?

All on my own, boo hoo.

34. Are you too forgiving?

I don't think so.

35. When was the last time that you were in love?

That would be zero seconds ago.

36. Tell us about your best friend.

No, because I'm not sure who my best friend is. I really need to get round to ranking them.

37. What was the stupidest thing you learned in high school?

Sports.

38. What was the last thing that you cried about?

Probably missing my girlfriend.

39. What was the last question you asked?

I think it was asking my mum what TV station she wanted to watch.

40. Favorite thing to do this time of the year?

Answer memes.

41. If you had to get a (or another) tattoo, what would it be?

Painful.

42. How would your best friend describe you?

They'd moan that I didn't even realise they were my best friend due to the lack of a ranking system.

43. Have you ever seen all three Twilight films?

No, I've seen one and a bit so far.

44. Ever walked into a glass door?

No, but I've walked straight into the glass wall of a bus station. Ouch. I don't recommend it.

45. Favorite color on that person that you are attracted to?

Purple.

46. Have you ever slapped someone?

No, but then again I've never met the people who write these meme questions.

47. What hair style (for you) would you like to see return?

A reverse mohawk, where you're bald down the centre of the head with hair at the sides, since that's the look my hair's heading towards.

48. What was the last CD you bought?

A Tim Minchin one, though not sure which one since I bought a few round the same time.

49. Do looks matter to you?

Yes, I'm very shallow.

50. Could you ever forgive a liar?

It depends what they lied about.

51. What's the hardest bill to pay every month?

Probably my credit card bill because that tends to be the most expensive.

52. Do you like your life right now?

Yes, but it could be better.

53. Do you sleep with the TV on?

Yes, if I fall asleep in front of it.

54. Can you handle the truth?

If it's that this meme is more than 65 questions, then no.

55. Do you have good vision?

Yeah, it's okay for most things.

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?

No.

57. How often do you talk on the phone?

Quite a bit. I talk to my girlfriend for an unlimited time each month (in phone company speak, unlimited equates to ten hours), and at work I talk to customers far more often than I'd like to.

58. What celeb would you like to come home to?

Maybe a TV chef so they could cook me dinner.

59. What are you wearing?

A grey shirt and black jeans.

60. What is your favorite wild animal?

I clearly need to get round to ranking wild animals.

61. Where was your facebook picture taken?

EPCOT.

62. Can you waltz?

Well, I was taught decades ago in school, but I doubt if I remember any of it.

63. Do you have a job?

Yes, I mess about on computers all day.

64. What was the most recent thing you stole?

I've just stolen the area of your brain that contains the sensible meme questions. Next you'll be asking silly questions about crawling through windows.

65. Have you ever crawled through a window?

I've been through open windows a few times as a kid when I didn't have a key to get in, but not sure it could be classified as crawling.

Sunday Stealing: The 5000 Question Meme, The Final Part

You can play here.

76. Do you prefer Disney or Warner Brothers?

I prefer Disney, it's a bit more magical and the quality control has been a lot better over the decades.

77. What is the first animal you would run to see if you went to the zoo?

The nearest one; I'm not big on running.

78. Would you consider yourself to be romantic?

A tad.

79. If the earth stopped rotating would we all fly off?

No, that wouldn't effect the gravity, so we'd all still be stuck here. That's just basic physics.

80. What is the one thing that you love to do so much that you would make sacrifices to be able to do it?

Actually I love sacrificing people, so that all works out nicely.

81. If you (and everyone) had to lose one right or freedom, but you could pick which one everyone had to lose, what would you pick?

The right to ask stupid meme questions.

82. If you had to choose would you live on the equator or at the North Pole?

The equator of course. Do I look like Santa?

83. Would you rather give up listening to music or watching television?

Listening to music (which some might find unthinkable but they clearly don't know my taste in music).

84. What do you think makes someone a hero?

Just being nice and helpful is good enough for me. I'm easily pleased.

85. What cartoon would you like to be a character in?

I'd like to be the old guy that they pull the mask off at the end of Scooby Doo. That doesn't seem like too much work.

86. Name one thing that turns your stomach:

Nausea.

87. What was the last thing you paid for?

Some bottles of drink (Coke Zero and Dr Pepper).

88. Are you a coupon clipper?

Is that some kind of boat? Even if it isn't, I'm fairly sure I'm not.

89. Get anything good in the mail recently?

I got some Tim Minchin CDs a few weeks ago, though I've not got around to listening to them yet.

90. Which would you rather take as a gym class...dancing, sailing, karate, or bowling?

What kind of weird gym classes are they? How do you fit the sailboats into a gymnasium? I'd take bowling because I'd get to spend a lot of time sitting down doing nothing.

91. In Star Trek people 'beam' back and forth between different places. What this means is they stand in a little tube and their molecules are deconstructed and sent to another tube somewhere else where they are reassembled. Only problem is when the molecules are deconstructed the person is dead. When they are put back together it is only a clone that has all the dead person's memories. Is the person who gets beamed the same person on both ends?

To be picky, I don't believe their molecules are sent, just the information about them (otherwise it would be the same person). As it is, the person beamed isn't the same on both ends; they're dead on one end, and an exact copy of themself on the other. How 'beaming' ever got past health and safety I'll never know.

92. What insects are you afraid of?

Most of them, especially stinkbugs unless they look like Elvis.

93. If you could print any phrase on a T-shirt, what would it say?

T-Shirt.

94. What's the most eccentric thing you have ever worn?

I once briefly wore the blue cover from a clothes dryer as a cloak. Otherwise I can't think of anything, though I used to wear two watches, one on each wrist, but that made sense because I owned two watches.

95. If you could pick one food that you could eat all you wanted but it would have no effect on how much you weigh, what food would it be?

Kebab calzone.

96. What are your parents interested in?

Stuff I'm not interested in.

97. Have you ever caught an insect and kept it as a pet?

I once caught a butterfly and briefly kept it in a jam jar, though it didn't survive long from what little I remember.

Have you ever caught and tamed a wild animal?

Does a butterfly count?

98. What is more helpful to you, wishes or plans?

Wishes, otherwise you don't know what you've got to make plans for.

99. When do you feel your life energy the strongest?

When I get to the end of a meme.

100. You are spending the night alone in the woods and may bring only 3 items with you.

Thanks for the information. For a second there, I thought you were going to make it into a question.

Sunday Stealing: The 5000 Question Meme, Part Three

You can play here.

51. Make up a definition for the following silly words...

Do I really have to?

Fruitgoogle: A search engine that only yields results that are tasteful and good for you (though it's a bit more seedy than Vegetablegoogle).

Ambytime: It means the same as anytime, but with a bit more ambivalence.

Asscactus: A stupid cactus.

52. What was the last thing you made with your own hands?

The last thing I can remember were some cinnamon cookies, though my girlfriend did most of the making.

53. What was your favorite toy as a child?

Probably Action Man.

54. How many TV’s are in your house?

One.

55. What is your favorite thing to do outside?

Come inside.

56. How do you feel when you see a rainbow?

Happy with a childlike sense of wonder, or wet if it's still raining.

57. Have you ever dreamt a dream that came true?

Yes, I once dreamt I woke up, and later I did. Eerie but true.

58. Have you ever been to a psychic/tarot reader?

No.

59. What is your idea of paradise?

I'm not sure, but my girlfriend would have to be there, plus a plentiful supply of kebab calzones and Vimto.

60. Do you believe in god and if so what is he/she/it like?

No.

61. Do you believe in Hell?

Sure, ever since I started doing this meme.

62. What one thing have you done that most people haven't?

Written a novel.

63. What is the kindest thing you have ever done?

I'm not sure, so it clearly couldn't have been extraordinarily kind.

64. Have you gone to WTIT's facebook page and hit "like" yet? If not, why not? (No pressure.)

Of course I have.

65. What holiday should exist but doesn't?

One that lasts months and months rather than the wishy-washy undernourished holidays we get at the moment.

66. What holiday shouldn't exist but does?

Boxing Day, or it should at least change it's name since it seems to have nothing to do with boxing whatsoever.

67. What's the best joke you ever heard?

I think I've told that one here before, so I'll refrain from repeating it. Another one I like is:

What's got four legs and goes boo?

A cow with a cold.

68. Where is the most fun place you have EVER been?

That was probably a place called The Funhouse that I used to go to as a kid, but is now no longer with us. I could spend ages in there.

69. Is your hair natural or dyed?

It's natural.

70. Do you have any deep dark secrets or are you pretty much up front?

No deep dark secrets here, light shallow ones at best.

71. What is under your bed right now?

There's an empty bottle which I really ought to throw away. Nothing else under it besides a floor and the carpet.

72. If you were in the Land of Oz would you want to live there or go home?

Home, there's no place like it.

73. If you drive do you frequently speed?

Not at the moment, since I've only just passed my test and anything beyond parked still seems unnaturally fast to me.

74. What is the world's best song to dance to?

The opening bars of The Smiths' This Charming Man is so jangly cool that, providing I've drunk enough, I have to dance to it.

75. What song was on the last time you danced with someone?

Wow, that must have been ages ago and I've no idea what the song was besides being something forgettable. The last one I can remember dancing to with anyone was The Spin Doctors' Two Princes.

Sunday Stealing: The 5000 Question Meme, Part Two

You can play here.

26. Who has done something today to show they care about you?

I've only just got up, though I've had three emails from my girlfriend already, full of hugs and love. Also, my mum made me a cup of drinking chocolate.

27. Do you have a lot to learn?

I'm sure I do.

28. If you could learn how to do three things just by wishing and not by working what would they be?

Learn a musical instrument, learn to cook, memorise the internet (it would save all that googling).

29. Which do you remember the longest: what other people say, what other people do or how other people make you feel?

Probably what other people do, since actions speak louder than words.

30. What are the key ingredients to having a good relationship?

Communication, shared sense of humour, honesty, mutual respect, lack of bad relationship ingredients.

31. What 3 things do you want to do before you die?

See Avatar, live a very long time, finish this meme.

32. What three things would you want to die to avoid doing?

Dying, living forever, answering stupid meme questions (dying seems an extreme method of avoidance, what's wrong with just saying no?).

33. Is there a cause you believe in more than any other cause?

No.

34. What does each decade make you think of:

The sixties: The Beatles and the moon landings; The seventies: Slade and choppers and The Six Million Dollar Man; The eighties: University and Live Aid and Alan Moore; The nineties: Britpop and Tori Amos; The noughties: Nothing much.

35. Which decade do you feel the most special connection to and why?

Probably the eighties, which was when I was at university and having a cool time.

36. What is your favorite oldie/classic rock song?

I'm not sure how oldie or classic or rocky you're aiming at, but I'll go for Layla by Derek and the Dominoes.

37. What country do you live in and who is the leader of that country?

I live in the UK and David Cameron's the leader.

If you could say any sentence to the current leader of your country what would it be?

Probably the same one Matt Baker asked him on TV a few weeks ago: How on Earth do you sleep at night?

38. What's your favorite TV channel to watch in the middle of the night?

A sports channel because I want something to send me to sleep at that time of night.

39. What Disney villain are you the most like and why?

Gaston, because he's in love with a beautiful intelligent girl who reads lots of books.

40. Have you ever been a girl scout/boy scout?

No.

41. If you were traveling to another continent would you rather fly or take a boat?

Fly, just because it's quicker.

42. Why is the sky blue during the day and black at night?

Refraction and wavelengths and the amount of light available from the sun, or something like that. My mum has a physics degree and she tried to explain it to me when I was a kid, but I wasn't the least bit interested.

43. What does your name mean?

Apparently it means a hammer or a mallet.

44. Would you rather explore the deeps of the ocean or outer space?

Outer space, because there's a lot more of it.

45. Word association

What is the first word that comes to mind when you see the word:

Air: Guitar

Meat: Loaf

Different: Strokes

Pink: Cadillac

Deserve: Favour

White: Knight

Elvis: Presley

Magic: Moments

Heart: Attack

Clash: Titans

Pulp: Fiction

46. If you could meet any person in the world who is dead who would you want it to be?

I don't want to meet any dead people. They're all lousy conversationalists.

47. What if you could meet anyone who is alive?

Anyone, as long as it's not the person who came up with these questions.

48. Is there a movie that you love so much you could watch it everyday?

No (at least not of the ones I've seen).

49. You are going to be stuck alone in an elevator for a week. What do you bring to do?

Well, if I know I'm going to be stuck alone in an elevator for a week, I'm just not going to turn up, thanks. If I really have to, for the sake of a meme question, then I'd bring all the DVDs I've not watched or books I've not read.

50. Have you ever saved someone's life or had your life saved?

No.

Sunday Stealing: The 5000 Question Meme, Part One

You can play here.

1. Who are you?

I'm an enigma wrapped in a mystery wrapped in a blog.

2. What are the 3 most important things everyone should know about you?

I've no idea why anyone needs to know anything about me, or which three things would be particularly important to them, but here are three random things:

1. I've just had a haircut.
2. I was expecting this to be part three of the burnt toast meme and already had my answers planned out.
3. I'm really glad this meme doesn't actually have 5000 questions.

3. When you aren't doing memes like this one what are you doing?

Waiting for the next meme to come along.

4. List your classes in school from the ones you like the most to the ones you like the least (or if you are out of school, think of the classes you did like and didn't like at the time).

I liked Maths the most and probably liked geography or history the least.

5. What is your biggest goal for this year?

I'm afraid to say in case it jinxes it, plus I might want to use the same answer next year when I no doubt get asked the same question.

6. Where do you want to be in 5 years?

With my girlfriend fulltime.

7. What stage of life are you in right now?

The meme-answering stage.

8. Are you more child-like or childish?

Childish.

9. What is the last thing you said out loud?

I think it was "twenty past nine" - I was answering my mum about when I thought a TV show was finishing.

10. What song comes closest to how you feel about your life right now?

The Future's So Bright I've Got To Wear Shades.

11. Have you ever taken martial arts classes?

I can understand why you might jump to that conclusion, but no, never.

12. Does your life tend to get better or worse or does it just stay the same?

Overall, it's getting better.

13. Does time really heal all wounds?

No, just the non-fatal ones.

14. How do you handle a rainy day?

I stay indoors.

15. Which is worse...losing your luggage or having to sort out tangled holiday lights?

Definitely losing my luggage.

16. How is (or was) your relationship with your parents?

My relationship with my mum's great, my relationship with my dad's fairly non-existent.

17. Do you tend to be aware of what is going on around you?

Not in the least.

18. What is the truest thing that you know?

One and one is two.

19. What did you want to be when you grew up?

A grown-up, but sadly I'm still childish.

20. Have you ever been given a second chance?

Yes, and third and fourth and fifth ones.

21. Are you more of a giver or a taker?

A giver, give or take.

22. Do you make your decisions with an open heart/mind?

I think I do.

23. What is the most physically painful thing that has ever happened to you?

Whatever it was, it wasn't painful enough to remember.

24. What is the most emotionally painful thing that has ever happened to you?

Until that dark day when I actually lose my luggage, probably the death of a friend.

25. Who have you hugged today?

No one, apart from e-hugs to my girlfriend.

Sunday Stealing: The Burnt Toast Meme, Part Two

You can play here.

17. Who would you like to show up at your door to say they love you?

My girlfriend.

18. Last furry thing you touched?

That would probably be one of my girlfriend's dogs.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?

Just caffeine and some nasal spray.

20. Do you miss film or does digital work for you?

I prefer digital, but I never took many photographs back in the days of film.

21. Favorite age you have been so far?

My current one's pretty cool, albeit as old as dirt.

22. Your worst enemy?

Maybe myself, or possibly time/entropy, though it's always possible that I've got some machiavellian nemesis lurking behind the scenes, reeking mischief on my life, who has yet to be revealed to me.

23. What is your current desktop picture?

One's a picture of a Ben 10 character that my nephew set my background to; on my other laptop it's a picture of my girlfriend.

24. What was the last thing you said that was funny?

It might have been funny but whatever it was sure wasn't memorable.

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?

If you mean flying unaided then I'd go with that, because I'm pretty sure you could earn more than a million bucks if you were the only person who could fly.

26. Who can't you say “no” to?

My girlfriend.

27. The last song you bought or downloaded?

The last album I bought was a set of comedy songs by Harry Hill that I've yet to listen to.

28. What time of day were you born?

I can't remember that far back.

29. What’s your favorite number? Why?

1729, but the explanation might bore you.

30. Where did you live in 1987?

It was in a flat in Withington, Manchester, with a cool bed that pulled down from the wall.

31. Are you jealous of anyone?

People with cool beds that pull down from the wall.

32. Is anyone jealous of you?

Probably people who've never even had a cool bed that pulled down from the wall.

33. It's been almost a decade. Where were you when 9/11 happened?

I was at work when I heard about it.

Monday Movie Meme: Trimming The Fat...

Feature Presentation...

MONDAY MOVIE MEME

This week Molly and Andy at the Bumbles Blog are asking all about movies featuring people who want to lose or need to gain extra pounds, so here's my pick:

• The Meaning of Life (1983) - Mr. Creosote demonstrates the effective yet drastic weight loss that can result from a wafer-thin mint.
  
  
• Thinner (1996) - Another film where a circumferentially-gifted character has a drastic weight-loss, but this being based on a Stephen King book he's still not happy.
  
  
• Date Movie (2006) - Alyson Hannigan manages to lose lots of weight in the hope that she'll find happiness, but it's all to no avail as the movie sucks.
  
  
• Wall-E (2008) - It's the future and the remains of the human race are all chubby and chair-bound in this feel-good Pixar movie.

Sunday Stealing: The Burnt Toast Meme

You can play here.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?

I didn't think anything. Surprisingly I've seen myself in the mirror on previous occasions so no thoughts were sparked.

2. How much cash do you have on you?

Quite a bit, but that's because I went and took out enough cash to last me the week earlier today.

3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?

SNORE.

4. Favorite planet?

Earth, unless you mean fictionally in which case I'd go for Mogo, but he doesn't socialize.

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?

It looks like a cell phone number that means nothing to me, so probably a wrong number.

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?

Sadly I've not got any cool ringtones on my current phone. My old work one had lots of cool Buffy ringtones that I spent far too long putting together.

7. What shirt are you wearing?

A long-sleeved grey one with a pocket.

8. Do you label yourself?

No, I'm at that age where I can remember my name.

9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing?

Karrimor.

10. Bright or Dark Room?

It depends whether I'm developing photographs or photosynthesising.

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?

I think their answers must be more interesting than mine.

12. What does your watch look like?

It's a Disney one with a picture of Mickey Mouse on the face.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Sleeping.

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?

It was a message from my niece begging for me to get her 2000 Microsoft points on her Xbox. I suspect the next one might be too.

15. Where is your nearest 7-11?

There are none that I know of here in the UK.

16. What's a word that you say a lot?

Cheers, which according to my girlfriend just confuses the majority of Americans who think I'm saying a random sitcom title to them by way of a thank you.

Monday Movie Meme: To Be Continued

Feature Presentation...

MONDAY MOVIE MEME

This week Molly and Andy at the Bumbles Blog are asking all about movies that we'd like to see sequels to, so here's my pick:

• The Greatest Story Ever Told (1965) - Not a fan of biblical epics in the least; just curious to see if they could top it.
  
  
• Doc Savage: The Man of Bronze (1975) - I want to see this for closure because the original movie left us on a cliffhanger (although not much of one) and promised us that Doc would return.
  
  
• Time Bandits (1981) - Would have been fun to see the little guys romping around more of history.
  
  
• Big Trouble In Little China (1986) - Thought this was a real fun movie and wouldn't have minded seeing inept hero Jack Burton having Big Trouble elsewhere.
  
  
• Mystery Men (1999) - Another bunch of inept heroes I wouldn't have minded seeing again.
  
  
• A Mighty Wind (2003) - A great film but really I just want to see more of Fred Willard's hilarious "Hey, wha happened?" character.

Sunday Stealing: The Very Late Meme

You can play here.

1. Make a list of 5 things that you can see without getting up:

The inside of my eyelids.
The ceiling.
A lampshade.
A bookshelf.
A chia pet alarm clock.

2. How do you style your hair?

With wild abandon, if at all.

3. What are you wearing now?

A black shirt, blue denim jeans, a coat, a woolly scarf and a black hat with a Mickey mouse logo on it.

4. What's your occupation?

I mess about with computers.

5. What do you hear right now?

A bus's engine and the noise from someone's mp3 player.

6. Who was the last person you hugged?

I think it was my girlfriend's mother.

7. What is/was for dinner?

Baked beans and sausages on toast.

8. What did you do today?

I slept a lot, had lunch, watched TV, took some photos of the back garden for my nephew's college art project, wondered if Sunday Stealing had been stolen, chatted all too briefly to my girlfriend on google chat, and now I'm on a bus to catch a train, typing my answers on my phone so I can post them later.

9. Dog person or cat person?

I'm just a regular human person, and not some strange animal/human hybrid.

10. If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?

I'd change it to Goodbye, so people would greet me with a Beatles song title.

11. What was the last thing that you bought?

A bus ticket.

12. If you could afford to go anywhere in the world, where would you go?

Everywhere.

13. Where do you see yourself in five years?

Still answering this meme.

14. Where's your birthmark?

On my waist, it's white and birthmark-shaped.

15. What are you doing this weekend?

It's Sunday so I've already done most of it, and it was pretty dull so I'll spare you the details.

16. Which book are you reading at the moment?

The same one I was reading the last time I was asked, and the time before that and probably the next time too. I'm a slow reader.

17. The last movie you've seen?

It was a documentary about comic writer Grant Morrison called Talking With Gods.

18. What are you doing tomorrow?

Going to work, and bizarrely thinking about it doesn't clear away the cobwebs and the sorrow.
 

Monday Movie Meme: Show Me The Money

Feature Presentation...

MONDAY MOVIE MEME

This week Molly and Andy at the Bumbles Blog are asking all about movies that focus on money, so here's my pick:

• Greed (1924) - Silent film about the perils of winning the lottery, where things just get worse and worse for the characters. Terrific fun in a Schadenfreude sort of way.
  
  
• The Producers (1968) - The funniest movie about creative accounting ever.
  
  
• The Magic Christian (1969) - Peter Sellers tries to show Ringo Starr that anyone and anything can be bought with money in weird '60s comedy.
  
  
• Take The Money And Run (1969) - Not a lot to do with money, apart from mentioning it in the title, but it's a great Woody Allen film about an inept bank robber.
  
  
• The Heist (1971) - Originally called just $, the first half of the money is about Warren Beatty stealing money, the second half is him being chased for it.
  
  
• Trespass (2006) - Two firemen find a treasure map and end up upsetting Ice-T in a film written by the Back To The Future team of Robert Zemeckis and Bob Gale.

Sunday Stealing: The Sunset Meme

You can play here.

1. What is your favorite Mexican dish?

Either nachos or fajitas.

2. When you were a kid, did you get started on your homework right away after school, or did you procrastinate?

I procrastinated a ridiculous amount, though always managed to get it done on time though fairly late at night sometimes.

3. What is your favorite store for home furnishings?

My flat's current furnishings are from Ikea (lampshades), Argos (incorrectly put together furniture) and Primark (classy decor), so it's probably one of those. I'll go for Ikea because I get to eat there too.

4. When you were young, did you like school lunches?

I've never ever had school lunches, gasp; I always went home for lunch.

5. Is religion a crutch?

No, otherwise doctors would be recommending religion for people with a broken leg.

6. In your region, what is the “big” high school sport?

I'd guess at soccer, though only "big" in a "not big at all" sense.

7. Do you consider yourself rich?

No, though I don't consider myself poor either.

8. Which of these would you have the best chance administering:

A) CPR
B) Heimlich Maneuver
C) Changing a flat tire

I'd have the best chance of changing a flat tire. It would take me a few years, but at least no one would die as a result.

9. Which dance would you prefer to learn & why:

A) Salsa
B) Hip Hop
C) Waltz
D) Swing

I learned the waltz when I was about twelve, so presumably that would be easiest to learn, so I'll pick that.

10. What’s the worst news you’ve ever delivered to someone?

At university, I told someone that a mutual friend was dead, way before their time.

11. Name something you learned in college that had nothing to do with classes or academics.

I learned how to get through numerous levels of Bombjack, a videogame that they had in my halls of residence.

12. New variation on an old question: If there’s a song in your head that just won’t get out, what is your favorite (or most repeated) line in that song?

What an interesting variation, but sadly there's no song in my head at the moment.

Sunday Stealing: The Ace Meme, Part Three

You can play here.

68. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW?

At the moment, probably the UK version of Being Human.

69. WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE THAT YOU DON'T LIKE?

Avoid them; failing that hire a hitman.

70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?

Banana.

71. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES?

Yep, last time I looked.

72. SO IS IT GOING TO BE THE STEELERS OR THE PACKERS?

I've no idea, since I know nothing about either of them. I'll sit on the fence and go for the stackers.

73. PLANS FOR TONIGHT?

Lots of fun commuting, via trains and replacement bus services.

74. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO LIVE WHEN YOU RETIRE?

Outer space.

75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?

No, just everyone but me.

76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?

The TV, where they're discussing Gustav Holst at the moment (sounds a bit erudite; not sure how I ended up on this channel).

77. LAST THING YOU DRANK?

A cup of drinking chocolate.

78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?

I think it was a guy called Ahmed discussing why some software wasn't working. It's working now you'll be pleased to hear.

79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE SEX(ES) YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO?

It depends which way they're facing.

80. WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?

I've not got any spare time, what with all my TV watching and web surfing.

81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE?

The weather. It's raining here at the moment.

82. FAVORITE SEASON OF THE YEAR?

Spring.

83. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF CANDY?

I quite like lemon bonbons, but I like peanut brittle too, so I'm a bit undecided.

84. HAVE YOU EVER REALLY AND TRULY HAD A BEST FRIEND?

Yes, though I'm not friends with any of my best friends anymore, but at the time they were definitely the best friend I had.

85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR?

It started out blond but then it started going brown (my sister calls it mouse) and now some of its going invisible.

86. EYE COLOR?

Blue.

87. SHOE SIZE?

Eight and a half.

88. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?

Noddy's in Withington, Manchester, because they're the only place I know that does kebab calzone.

89. FAVORITE RESTAURANT?

I've no idea. I'm more of a fast food place person.

90. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI?

Yes, it's okay.

91. WATCH TV TODAY?

Watching TV now.

92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?

Christmas Day.

93. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS?

Didn't I answer this a few weeks ago. Nothing changed since then, except I broke a string on my air guitar.

94. POLITICAL PARTY?

Wow, you managed to choose one of the few kinds of party that I'm not interested in.

95. KISSES OR HUGS?

Both.

96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?

Relationships.

97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?

Some pizzas.

98. WOULD YOU EVER BE A HOUSE SPOUSE?

Not go to work!? Yep, sounds good to me.

99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?

I'm very slowly making my way through Skunk: A Love Story by Justin Courter.

100. DESCRIBE YOUR LOVE LIFE:

Groovy apart from the ocean in the middle.

Sunday Stealing: The Ace Meme, Part Two

You can play here.

34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF YOUR HOME COUNTRY?

Yes, the last time was at the start of this year.

35. WEAKNESSES?

Tons of them, way more than strengths.

37. FIRST JOB?

My current one, programming computers.

38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?

When I was a teenager, a bunch of friends dragged me into that murky world briefly.

39. DO YOU THINK EVERYONE OUT THERE HAS A SOUL MATE?

Only if there are an even number of people.

40. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU DID STEALING?

I was surfing the internet and emailing my girlfriend.

41. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY?

Just stitches in my head once after a rock had visited it.

42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?

My cool Spider-Man belt, though it's only my girlfriend who compliments me on it.

43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES?

Yes, when I was a teenager, and despite that my teeth still didn't end up straight, boo.

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?

Thanks for asking, but you just missed it. I wanted socks and a jumper and handkerchiefs and pyjamas and a mug and a book called Banana-grams and the "Scott Pilgrim Vs The World" DVD and I got those plus everything else I wanted, so that turned out well.

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT AND WHAT DO YOU WANT THEIR NAMES TO BE? (OR IF YOU HAVE KIDS, TELL US ABOUT THEM.)

I want two, and I want to call them Thing 1 and Thing 2 (though possibly those names need a bit more work).

46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

Not that I'm aware of.

47. WHAT IS THE BIGGEST TURN OFF OF THE SEX(ES) YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO?

When they're not attracted to me.

48. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU LIKED ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL?

That I managed to avoid sports of any kind.

49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE?

Head and Shoulders.

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?

Yes, it's unique and distinct, though it's somewhat slow since I hold my pen in a weird way.

51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?

Lamb.

52. ANY BAD HABITS?

Mainly procrastination.

53. ARE YOU A JEALOUS PERSON?

Yes, I'm jealous of people who don't have to answer this meme.

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?

But if I was another person, then surely there wouldn't be a me to be friends with.

55. DO YOU AGREE WITH FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?

They've got to be better than friends with deficits.

56. DO LOOKS MATTER?

Yes, but they're not the be all and end all.

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?

At most I'll shout, but I very rarely get angry.

58. WOULD YOU RATHER GAIN 58 POUNDS OR LOSE 58 POUNDS?

I'd prefer to gain 58 pounds, since if I lost 58 pounds I'd probably have some scary wasting disease, whereas if I gained them I'd probably be just eating too much.

59. WHAT'S YOUR MAIN GOAL IN LIFE?

World domination (but I suspect everyone will say that).

60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?

Probably Action Man (the UK G.I. Joe).

61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE?

Nineteen, some of which probably need deleting.

62. WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A LITTLE KID?

Yeah, and Fred.

63. DO YOU USE SARCASM?

Ever so slightly.

64. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE?

Mashed potatoes.

65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A LOVER?

Looks, sense of humour, all-round loveliness.

66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?

Marky Mark, Barker.

67. FAVORITE SUPER POWER?

Making overlong memes come to an end just by wishing it. Wow, it worked!

Sunday Stealing: The Ace Meme, Part One

You can play here.

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?

I cut my arm on a broken milk bottle when I was around three.

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM

Wallpaper.

3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP?

As far as I know just snoring and occasionally sitting bolt upright.

4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?

Pretty awful music on the whole.

5. WHAT TIME WERE YOU BORN?

The sixties.

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?

For you to stop shouting the questions at me.

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?

Heart lollies (these ice cream chocolate lollies in the shape of a heart that they used to sell when I was a kid).

8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)?

My girlfriend.

9. HOW TALL ARE YOU?

I'm not really sure. 5 foot 10 maybe.

10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?

No.

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?

Depends on the neighbourhood.

12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?

My girlfriend, though she only made me cry because she wasn't around rather than in any malicious way.

13. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?

An endless meme.

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON PEOPLE YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO?

I like brunettes, no particular eye colour preference.

15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF PROPOSING?

Near my girlfriend.

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?

Coffee.

17. FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?

Ham and pineapple.

18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

A kebab calzone.

19. FAVORITE COLOR OF ALL TIME?

Blue.

20. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH?

Not that I recall.

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED?

The gift of life. Either that or an Action Man.

22. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?

Yep, on my girlfriend.

23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?

I'm barely single jointed.

24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?

No particular one.

25. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE FEMALE/MALE CELEBRITY?

I've no idea, but if I could narrow it down to one I'd pick them for something other than being a celebrity.

26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW?

Yes.

27. WHAT KIND IS IT?

A Chia one.

28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?

Yes, sometimes you can't help falling in love. To tell the truth I've fallen hopelessly in love with question 29 without even reading it yet; just hope it doesn't leave.

30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED?

Pi.

31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?

See the answer to question 14.

32. FAVORITE QUOTE?

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy." - Dorothy Parker

33. FAVORITE PLACE?

Earth - there's no place like home.

Sunday Stealing: The First 2011 Alphabet Meme

You can play here.

A is for Age: 46

B is for Beer of choice: I don't drink beer, I drink lager, and I add lime to it which tends to overpower the taste to such an extent that any choice of lager will do.

C is for Career: Computer programmer.

D is for favourite Drink: Vimto.

E is for Essential item you use everyday: My asthma inhaler.

F is for Favourite song at the moment: It's New England by Kirsty MacColl, but just because some people were singing the Billy Bragg version of the song on a film I just watched.

G is for favourite Game: Air hockey.

H is for Home town: Fleetwood.

I is for Instruments you play: Triangle, kazoo, air guitar.

J is for favourite Juice: Orange juice.

K is for Kids: None so far.

L is for Last kiss: That was today with my girlfriend.

M is for marriage: Sounds a good idea.

N is for full Name: N is also for 'nonymity.

O is for Overnight hospital stays: None.

P is for phobias: I'm afraid of heights.

Q is for quote: "I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it." - Jack Handey

R is for biggest Regret: Starting this meme.

S is for sports: Air hockey again.

T is for Time you wake up: As late as I can get away with.

U is for colour of underwear: Currently white.

V is for Vegetable you love: The potato.

W is for Worst Habit: Procrastination.

X is for X-rays you've had: I think I've only ever had them at the dentist's.

Y is for Yummy food you make: I made yummy snickerdoodle cookies today, though my girlfriend helped ever so slightly.

Z is for zodiac sign: Aquarius.