Sunday Stealing: The Dark Side Meme

You can play here.

1. You’re building your dream house. What’s the one thing that this house absolutely, positively MUST HAVE? (other than the obvious basics of course)

A television. I'm quite happy to stop the building at that point actually; obvious basics are overrated (I've yet to use my kitchen for anything beyond storage).

2. What is your dream car?

KITT, maybe Herbie, possibly Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Hey, as long as it drives itself, I'd even take Christine.

3. What is your favorite website that isn’t a blog?

Hate to ruin my PG-13 content by getting all lascivious, but I found this links site Go Ogle where you can search for all manner of websites, images and videos. It's like it's got everything on there.

4. iPhone 4 or Droid, which do you want?

Blackberry, just to be different, and because my thumb's worn down with using it to chat to my girlfriend.

5. When you’re feeling down or lonely or just generally out of sorts, what do you do to cheer yourself up?

Nothing, just wallow in it, because there's usually a reason I'm feeling that way.

6. Tell me about something or someone that you love that most people seem to hate.

I'm having a hard time thinking of something. Would mathematics count? That rocks, especially when it's got no practical application whatsoever.

7. What do you want to be when you grow up?

Younger.

8. Would you go on a reality show if given the chance?

No.

9. Who was your favorite teacher when you were growing up. (Grade school, Middle School, Jr. High or High School only.)

Probably Mr. McCardle who was our cool Physics teacher.

10. You get one pass to do something illegal or immoral. What are you gonna do?

Steal a planet. Hey, may as well think big, if I only get one shot at it.

11. What were you doing 10 years ago?

I don't know. It was before the internet, so it's hard to imagine what I did back in those dark ages.

12. By this time next year, I ...

Might remember what I was doing ten years ago.

13. Do you think the United States will elect a female President in your lifetime? Do you think this would be a good thing?

Yes. It's as much chance of being a good thing as electing a male president would be; it depends on the individual.

14. Which fictional, TV show character you would shag anytime?

I'd be unable to due to their fictionality, plus I've already got a hotter girlfriend.

15. What is your greatest pet peeve?

People who play their music too loud on public transport.

16. Tell me about your most recent trip of more than 100 miles?

I flew to America to see my girlfriend three weeks ago.

We had fun in Delaware for a few days, then it was off to New York (though we stayed in New Jersey at a motel noisily closed to the highway and travelled to NY daily via ferry). On the first day we went to Madame Tussauds, and then my girlfriend was hypnotised by a Hello Kitty shop across the road from it. We also took the first of several bus tours with City Sights NY; it was a night bus tour with a great funny guy called Andy commentating who rocked.

In the next several days, as well as confusing taxi drivers with my accent, we saw LA CAGE on Broadway - which was great, and might win some Tony Awards at the ceremony being shown on TV tonight in the USA and sometime after never here in the UK - and went to the BEA (Book Expo America) where I had fun schlepping books for my girlfriend as she schmoozed with the authors.

On our final day, we went to the first Book Bloggers Convention where I got a cool free spy pen, author Maureen Johnson gave a cool funny talk, and myself and my girlfriend managed to find a table to eat lunch at where we were joined by no other bloggers whatsoever. As a result, I spectularly failed to get rid of any proof copies of my debut novel at a convention of book bloggers; we even tried putting them on a table of free books, where some people looked, but the only person who took one up ended putting it back seconds later; it's possible I may have even ended up with more copies than I started with.

Then we went back to Delaware, where I bought a bengal tiger, my girlfriend had an abdominoplasty, and I spent time with her while she recuperated endlessly flicking through all the channels on her TV, and then I left her and flew back to the UK and missed her so much that the dictionary doesn't have a word sufficient to describe it.

17. Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus?

The dictionary, though sometimes it lets me down (see previous answer).

18. Do you have a nickname? What is it?

Marky Mark is the incredibly inventine nickname I've been saddled with. That Mark Wahlberg has a lot to answer for; one day me and all the other Mark's are going to hunt him down.

19. What are you dreading at the moment?

Having to see any more of the soccer world cup. It seems like it's been going on forever.

20. Do you worry that others will judge you from reading some of your answers?

I'm afraid my friends will read the bit about my going to see LA CAGE and it will put a dent in my tough guy image; hey, from that title I thought it was all about L.A. Cagefighters, easy mistake to make.

21. In two words, explain what ended your last relationship.

Splitting up.

22. What were you doing this morning at 8am?

Sleeping, of course.

23. Do you have any famous relatives?

My young niece wrote a short story that got included in an anthology of schoolchildren's short stories. Not quite in the league of my girlfriend though, whose mom's short story was also recently published in a book Creatures of the Night.

24. How many different beverages have you drank today?

Three - hot chocolate, cinnamon latte, and Coke.

25. What is something you are excited about?

All sorts of things, the title of this meme giving me an excuse to include Tim Minchin's song "Dark Side" below, the two-part Doctor Who finale next week, and last, but most definitely most, my girlfriend visiting in September.



26. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group?

That would be at my sister's wedding reception. I started my made-up-on-the-spot speech with "Marriage isn't a word it's a sentence," and after that it kind of went downhill. Thankfully I was edited out of the wedding video.

27. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?

If I asked it who was fairer than me, it would say everyone.

28. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Sleeping, of course.

29. What’s a word that you say a lot?

The.

30. Who is your worst enemy?

Not sure who it was before, but now I'm guessing it's anybody who had to read these meme answers.