Tuesday, 30 March 2010

The Queen's Meme #31 ~ The What Not Meme

To avoid getting thrown into a dungeon, here's my answers to this week's Queen's Meme

It’s apparently my turn to be the expert, by answering what NOT to do in the following situations:

What NOT To Do when you’re.....

1. On a first date

Don't take them cow tipping.

2. Intoxicated

Don't do anything, especially anything that seems like a good idea at the time.

3. In the shower

Singing may be okay, but don't dance.

4. At your ex’s wedding

Don't do a mime of being hung by a noose while their new spouse is saying 'I do'.

5. In jail

Don't roll three doubles or you'll have to go straight back there.

6. being stalked

Don't exchange phone numbers with your stalker.

7. Stuck to an igloo

Don't annoy the eskimos.

8. In sewing class

Don't play darts with the needles.

9. Asleep in a helium balloon

Don't spontaneously combust.

10. At a birthday party for twins

Don't give each one half the birthday gift.

11. On a nude beach

Don't fall asleep sunbathing.

12. At the opera

It's an easy mistake, but don't start a chant of "Oprah! Oprah! Oprah!" while you're waiting for the show to start. Also, the old saying's not always right, so don't go home just because the fat lady starts singing.

13. you’re falling in love

It's okay writing her name in the snow, but not if it's in yellow and with someone else's handwriting.

14. Low on gasoline in a bad part of town

Don't look at the level indicator.

15. Having a baby

Though doctors love practical jokes, resist the urge to hide three springy snakes in there to pop out at an opportune moment.

16. On fire

Don't panic.

17. Lost at the mall

Don't try and follow the maps they have there. The longer you're stuck in the mall, the more money you might spend, so all the maps there are designed to make you get more lost. Would I lie to you?

18. At a single’s dance

Don't dance. That's just what they're expecting you to do.

19. Riding a bike on the Jersey Turnpike

Don't crash.

20. Driving your significant other's car

Don't crash. Also don't adjust the driver seat or change the radio channel (if you do, then crash the car to cover up this heinous misdemeanour).

21. Being robbed at gunpoint

Don't ask the robber if it's a real gun?

22. Kissing

Don't stop.

23. Paying the hotel cashier

Don't pay in magic beans.

24. Buying lingerie

Don't get the wrong size or wrong colour or wrong design or even shop for it alone in the first place.

24. Commenting on a blog

Don't point out if the blogger's mistakenly used the same number for two questions.

25. In Queen Mimi's dungeon

Don't redecorate it.


Jamie said...

15 has now given everyone an "Alien" flashback

jennifer said...

I like your answer to #22. Very good advice!

coopernicus said...

LMAO----#4. Excellent answers all around

Mimi Lenox said...

I just realized there are two #24s.
Oh great.

Not exchanging phone numbers with your stalker is great advice!

It's too late about the redecorating. I just read elsewhere that one of the prisoners painted obscene murals and there was a mention of toilet paper.

I think I'm going to faint.

A Blog In The Rough said...

Hey it may have taken a long time for you to complete this, but they're quite funny.
Now of course you gave me an idea to spring out something during childbirth to get back at Dr. G for bringing a chainsaw to cut off my pinkie :)