The Queen's Meme #62 ~ The Crazy Question Meme

To avoid getting thrown into a dungeon, here's my answers to this week's Queen's Meme

1. Why doesn't McDonald's sell hotdogs?

Because a sign saying "McDonald's hotdogs" might be misread as "McDonald shot dogs". Ronald McDonald's already scary enough as it is being a clown, without kids mistakenly thinking he's responsible for pooch shooting.

2. How far east can you go before heading west?

Well, from a scientific point of view, ignoring the fact you're always going east due to the Earth's rotation, and the obvious practical limitations that mean you'll probably end up heading west when the tide takes you in that direction, it'll be once you reach the East Pole (where the Easter Bunny lives).

3. What happens to the missing socks?

I've got them all! Bwahaha!! They're mine, all mine, I tell you!

4. Does love = sex or does sex = love?

They're totally different. For instance, I love apple pie, but I've never - ... Oops, bad example.

5. How much wood did the woodchuck chuck?

Such an amount that if you placed all that wood end to end it would be the same length as a piece of string.

6. Why do prison buses have emergency exits?

To give the prisoners a sporting chance of escaping, although, to be fair, with the bus in motion, they're fairly hazardous to use (though nowhere near as dangerous as those plane emergency exits).

7. Do you believe that an alien ship stole question #7?

If they did, they clearly put it back, or changed this from number 8 to hide their dastardly deed.

Sunday Stealing: The Baker's Meme

You can play here.

1. If you could interview anyone on your blog (alive or dead) who would you chose and why?

I'd probably interview someone alive, since it'd be a lot easier getting answers.I guess it would be writer Alan Moore since I'm substantially in awe of him and he tends to give great interviews.

2. What do you feel is your strength as a blogger?

My surplus of sarcasm.

3. Can you share a little bit about yourself that you have not already mentioned on your blog?

I moved into a new flat earlier this year, which I think I failed to mention. It's by a canal so I've got these cool Canadian Geese as neighbours. It's also got possibly the loudest washine machine in the world, which makes a sound like an angry jet engine.

4. If you were forced to change the name of your blog, what would you change it to? Why?

I'd change it to Blog because that's the imaginative kind of guy I am.

5. What do you think is the most fulfilling part of being a blogger?

The fame and fortune.

6. What would you do with your last day if you found you had only one more day to live?

I'd no doubt spend all day trying to figure out some memorable last words.

7. You’ve been doing medical research for decades and have finally found a cure. What was it that you found a cure for and why did you choose this particular ailment?

Either back pain, because that plagues the love of my life, or whatever killed me in a day back in question six.

8. What is your most guilty pleasure?

Blogging.

9. Answer only one. What is your favorite book, movie or TV show?

Do you mean only give one answer for each of the three options, or only answer one out of the three? If the first then Imzadi by Peter David, Broadcast News and Press Gang respectively; if the latter then ignore two of my previous answers.

10. What do you think is the very best smell in the world? The one smell that can take you back to a time and place of a very vivid memory in your past?

It's got to be the smell of bacon that takes me back to the vivid memory of having a bacon barmcake last Friday.

Sunday Stealing: Questions a la Randomness, A Meme

You can play here.

What was the last thing you put in your mouth?

That would be drinking chocolate.

How late did you stay up last night and why?

I stayed up till about 11:30 pm, trying to make some progress with NaNoWriMo; hopefully by the end of the month I'll have expanded it to haiku-length.

If you could move somewhere else, would you?

Yes.

Have you ever been kissed under fireworks?

No, but it's felt like there were fireworks.

Do you believe ex’s can be friends?

Yes, and enemies too.

When was the last time you cried really hard?

Not cried really hard since I was a child; probably the last time was when a stone landed on my head.

What items could you not go without during the day?

My cell phone, my pens, my lungs.

Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?

I think it was my sister, just after she'd given birth to my nephew.

How do you feel about your life right now?

Super duper happy scrappy.

If we were to look in your facebook inbox, what would we find?

A year old message that would be of no interest to anyone now.

Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?

Yes.

Has anyone ever called you perfect before?

Yes, I have.

Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m.: who do you want it to be?

Anyone but my girlfriend, since I'm bound to sleep through it at that time of morning.

Do you think too much or too little?

Way too much, unless I'm answering meme questions.

Do you believe in fairy tales?

Yes, I believe fairy tales exist.

Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work?

No, it had never even occurred to me to try it.

What’s the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated?

Eleven years, three months, and four days, or thereabouts.

Have you ever been on a blind date?

No.

Do you have any friends that you’ve known for 10 years or more?

Yes, most of them.

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?

No.

What song do you want played at your funeral?

The one where it says "I'm coming up, so you better get the party started."

Would you tell your parents if you were gay?

I'd hope I would.

What would your last meal be before getting executed?

One that took a ridiulously long time to prepare as well as to eat.

Do you walk around the house naked?

No.

What do you do as soon as you walk in the house?

Lock the front door.

Who is the person you can count on the most?

My mother.

What is your favorite Holiday?

That would be when I visit America and see my girlfriend; it whizzes by.

Would you ever get plastic surgery?

I don't think so.

Have you ever caught a fish?

Never, despite my grandfather being a fisherman; guess those genes didn't get passed on.

What is the first thing you notice about people?

Usually their faces.

What is the farthest you’ve been from home?

Around three and a half thousand miles.

How did you meet your spouse or significant other (or most recent one)?

We were both writing novels for National Novel Writing Month, and she posted looking for a writing buddy and I answered.

Where was the last place you drove (other than home/school/work)?

I drove about in my girlfriend's car for a few minutes the last time I was in America.

Sunday Stealing: Another 14 Question Meme

You can play here.

1. Lots of pillows or just one? Describe your pre-sleeping rituals.

My pre-sleeping ritual involves having two pillows under my head and being awake.

2. What kind of books do you read?

All sorts, though most of the time I tend to stick with reading the same authors.

3. What are your neighbors like?

Far nicer than their neighbors.

4. What's really creepy to you?

Scary insects.

5. What's your current fandom/obsession/addiction?

I'm currently attempting to be obsessed with NaNoWriMo, where I try and write a novel in a month, but my addiction to the internet gets in the way slightly.

6. Do you prefer your junk food sweet, salty or savory?

Actually I prefer my junk food unsavoury.

7. What was the last thing you expensive bought?

The last thing I expensive bought probably my Kindle was.

8. What is your greatest fear?

An endless meme.

9. Do you get cravings? If so, what do you crave?

Yes. My girlfriend.

10. What do you do to change your mood?

I don't have to do anything, it just changes of its own accord.

11. What was the last meal you ate that you loved?

I had a nice donner kebab a week ago.

12. Do you want to learn another language? If so, why?

No.

13. What's something that you'd like to say to someone right now?

I'd like to say sorry to whoever's reading this for the dullness of this answer.

14. What are you looking forward to?

The next time I visit my girlfriend at the end of the year.

Sunday Stealing: The 14 Question Meme

You can play here.

1. What do you consider your hometown to be?

Fleetwood because, well, that's my hometown.

2. What’s the hardest part of your average day?

Not being with my girlfriend.

3. The easiest? Why?

Sleeping tends to be pretty easy.

4. What beverage do you reach for to quench your thirst?

The nearest.

5. What is one not-so-secret goal you have for your life? I’ll let you keep your secret ones to yourself.

To be with my long-distance girlfriend im a full time capacity.

6. What physical pain do you fear most? For example, I’m trying to decide how bad my jaw pain needs to get before I risk a potential needle from my dentist. So, for me, throbbing is preferable to jabbing.

Severe pain I guess I fear the most, though extremely slight pain's scary enough. Regardless, you should go to the dentist.

7. Where do you find solace?

In the dictionary. There are all sorts of other words there too, it's like it's got all of them.

8. What makes you the saddest when you read/see the news?

I tend to get sadder afterwards when I read/see what the weather has in store.

9. What do you eat for a favorite snack?

It depends what I've got, though I've usually eaten anything snacky that was lying around already.

10. What movie could you/would you watch more than two or three times and still enjoy just as much as the first time?

The Blues Brothers or Little Shop of Horrors (the musical version).

11. What boy/girl first made you cry?

Probably my sister, since we were always fighting when we were kids.

12. What brand of coffee/tea do you drink most often?

Whatever brand they use in the coffee machine at work.

13. Dig in the dirt with or without garden gloves?

Without, I'd dig with a spade instead.

14. James Taylor or Carly Simon?

While I really like James Taylor's version of The Second Star To The Right; I've got to go for Carly just because she wrote a song about me.